Excitement in the suburbs is sporks

Every now and then there is a really great idea that just never quite catches on.

Take for instance the keytar. The keytar made a brief appearance in the 80’s thanks to the popularity of New Wave and Synthpop music.  For all of those lead singers who could not play a lick of guitar, but had been forced to take piano lessons as a child, this was the perfect instrument.  Not only could they play the one instrument that they knew how to, but they could look cool with it strapped around their neck just like a guitar.  So while that lead singer may have grown up wishing to play a Fender, but was forced to play a Steinway, he now got to play a…Casio.

But enough about the keytar, the great idea that never quite caught on that I’m here to write about is the spork (please, don’t call in a foon…that’s just silly).  I started thinking about the spork recently as I was eating a Frito Chili Pie. While I was eating it with a lousy spoon I thought back to my childhood when I used to eat Frito Chili Pies at the little league baseball field.  But there was something missing while I was eating this particular Frito Chili Pie.  Don’t get me wrong, it was delicious.  I made it myself so the Fritos to cheese to chili ratio was perfect. The texture was lovely also. The chili was warm, the Fritos nice and crunchy, and the cheese was extra gooey.  But again, there was just something missing and I finally realized what it was.  As a kid when the nice lady at the ballpark handed me a Frito Chili Pie it always came with a spork.  That’s right, the genius combination of spoon and fork that allowed me to scoop the chili, but gave me the teeth of the fork to do the grunt work that a spoon is just not capable of.  I always loved getting the spork and wondered why it was not used more often.

Again, it’s a genius combination of spoon and fork, so it just makes sense as a utensil. It would be more cost effective. Setting tables would be easier and less confusing.  The word ‘spork’ is just fun to say. The list of advantages for using a spork just go on and on.  But despite all of the advantages of this marvel of ingenuity our society still seems stuck on using both a spoon and fork.  Seinfeld had a great bit about how he admires how Chinese people have stuck with chopsticks despite having seen the spoon and fork, but I’m finding it increasingly more difficult to admire those who continue to use both a spoon and fork despite seeing the spork.

So when I do finally make that exciting trip to Target to pick up a second pizza cutter I think I’m going to make it extra “exciting” and pick up some new sporks. But that does leave one question.  What will I do with those now empty slots in my utensil tray?